Divorcing a narcissist is not like an ordinary divorce.

Because you are not just separating from someone.

You are separating from control.

Drama.

Blame.

Manipulation.

Delay.

And often, a person who would rather destroy everything than be seen to lose.

That is why normal divorce advice is not always enough.

Because normal advice assumes both people are capable of being reasonable.

That both people want a sensible outcome.

That both people understand compromise.

That both people want to save costs.

But when you are dealing with someone toxic, that may not be true.

Form E is not just a form.

It is your financial case.

That is why people panic when they open it.

Because suddenly they are being asked for everything.

Property.

Bank accounts.

Investments.

Pensions.

Debts.

Income.

Outgoings.

Capital needs.

Income needs.

Children’s needs.

Business interests.

Orders sought.

Documents.

And then, at the end, the section everyone underestimates:

Other information.

This is not simple form-filling.

It is disclosure.

Evidence.

Strategy.

And credibility.

That is why I created my £55 Full Form E Guide.

Why Your Divorce Agreement Is Not Enough

You have agreed the finances.

The house.

The savings.

The pensions.

The debts.

Who pays what.

Who keeps what.

Who walks away.

You may even have it in writing.

So you think it is finished.

It may not be.

This is one of the biggest mistakes people make in divorce.

They think an agreement between them is enough.

It usually is not.

Everyone is using AI now.

And I understand why.

It is free.

Instant.

Available at 2am.

And when you are going through divorce, that matters.

Because fear does not wait until office hours.

You may be lying awake wondering:

Will I lose the house?

What happens to the children?

There are many reasons why people separate.

Some more valid than others.

Some people get bored.

Some seek excitement elsewhere.

Some are doomed from the start... think Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage.

Some are tricked into marrying someone who pretended to be someone else.

Some are golddiggers.

Some are psychopaths and narcissists.

Some simply marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Here are the main reasons relationships break down:

I originally wrote this post on 21 December 2006.

The amazing thing about humans is that we keep making the same mistakes.

Almost 20 years later nothing has changed.

There are still users out there.

And people are still taken advantage of.

What has changed however is the way people meet.

Online dating has taken over.

Sadly, this has led to a lot of disappointment.

Many people now deride relationships online .

The talk reduces relationships to transactional and is termed "the sexual market place".

Form E is not just another court form.

It is the foundation of your financial case.

Get it wrong…

And you can damage your position before you have even reached the first hearing.

Leave things out…

And it may look like you are hiding something.

Put too much irrelevant information in…

And you can confuse your own case.

Guess figures…

People still talk about “shared residence orders”.

But technically, that is the old language.

The court no longer makes residence orders in the same way.

The modern term is a child arrangements order.

That order can say who a child lives with.

Who they spend time with.

And when.

So if people say “shared residence”, they usually mean an order saying the child lives with both parents.

Not just visits one of them.

Lives with both.

What You Actually Need Is Straightforward, Affordable Advice

You don’t need a full-service law firm with receptionists, expensive partners, and junior staff charging by the minute. You need someone who knows what they’re doing, will tell you the truth, and won’t rinse your savings in the process.

That’s what I offer. I’m a former solicitor advocate with over 20 years of experience in family law. I used to run my own law firm. Now I work directly with people like you... no middlemen, no fluff. Just straight-talking, expert advice for £200 an hour over the phone. No VAT. No extras. No locked-in contracts.

I wrote a post on 11 December 2006, about stress in relationship breakdown.

I separated worries and concerns into those you can do something about...

Your own life issues...

And those you can't...

Such as...

The ozone layer is broken.

Since that time research has advanced to reveal that we can think our way into...

And think our way out of...

Stress.

A bit like the old Henry Ford quote...

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...

You're right.

There comes a point in some relationships where you stop asking:

“Can this be fixed?”

And start asking:

“How do I get out?”

That does not usually happen overnight.

It happens slowly.

After too many arguments.

Too many empty promises.

Too many apologies with no change.

Too many days where you feel more alone with them than you would on your own.

And eventually, you start wondering whether it is time to jump ship.

Why does this even exist?

Surely its all a symptom of a deranged mind?

Falling in love is oftentimes described as madness...

That giddy feeling.

That adoration...

That listening intently to their every word...

As if they drop wisdom bombs when they describe their day...

Wow...It really messes with your mind.

Being in love has the same impact on your brain as cocaine.

This heightened sense of oneness with another being.

This overwhelming happiness.

This joy to be alive because you have this fabulous being in your life.

This typically lasts between 3 to 18 months...

Then the relationship either develops...

or fizzles out.

But these feelings come rushing back when the one you love...

no longer loves you...

and departs.

Former divorce solicitor discusses the concept of "rebounding" after a relationship ends. It defines rebounding as rushing into a new relationship to avoid processing the pain of a breakup, often choosing partners with superficial similarities to the ex. The author outlines signs of rebounding, such as desperation for a new partner and neglecting red flags, and offers advice on how to stop, emphasizing the importance of healing and self-reflection before pursuing new relationships.

The biggest mistake people make when they separate is this:

They act emotionally before they think strategically.

They leave without a plan.

Agree things without advice.

Hand over money without paperwork.

Move out without understanding the consequences.

Trust someone who has already shown them they may not be trustworthy.

And then, months later, they wonder why everything has become a mess.

There comes a point when you know.

Not because one dramatic thing has happened.

But because too many small things have happened.

Too many arguments.

Too many disappointments.

Too many broken promises.

Too many nights lying awake wondering how your life ended up like this.

And eventually, something inside you says:

I have had enough.

Most people think mediation means sitting in a room being forced to agree.

It does not.

Mediation is not marriage counselling.

It is not therapy.

It is not someone telling you to “be nice” and give in.

A mediator is neutral.

Their job is to help you both discuss practical arrangements and see whether agreement is possible.

Children.

Money.

The house.

Pensions.

Maintenance.

School arrangements.

Holidays.

Who pays what.

Who lives where.

People say, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

No.

That is not how relationships work.

Good relationships do not survive on luck.

What do relationships need?

They survive on effort.

Consistency.

Respect.

Communication.

And two people choosing each other, even when life gets difficult.

f you can’t stop fighting, you need to stop pretending this is normal.

Every couple argues.

But constant fighting is different.

That is not communication.

That is two people living in a war zone.

And if there are children in the house, they are living in it too.

So the first question is not:

“Should I get divorced?”

The first question is:

“Is this relationship still capable of repair?”

Because divorce is not the only option.

But doing nothing is also a decision.

And often, it is the worst one.

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate.

I originally wrote this post on 1 August 2006.

I have nothing to add.

The advice still holds true.

Made me smile...

I hope it makes you feel good too.

https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2006/08/divorce-separation.html

TYPICAL QUESTIONS ON DIVORCE.

SHOULD I DATE WHEN TRYING TO GET A DIVORCE?

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate

If they didn't they wouldn't keep doing it...

Right?

Some move on to the next victim...

But... some perfect the art of tilting the balance in their favour.

What does this mean?

Why do liars get away with it?

Your need to be with them exceeds your need for an autonomous, happy, meaningful life.

What does that mean?

The pain of leaving exceeds the pain of staying...

Hence...

Liars do get away with it in many instances.

Do people believe politicians?