How long does it take to get over your ex?
Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate.
I wrote this original post on 10 April 2010.
I met lots of people who were stuck.
Stuck in sadness.
Stuck in anger.
Stuck in envy.
Stuck in hate.
Many did not want to be happy and content.
They wore their victimhood like a cloak to protect them.
How to move on?
There are three stages.
They require self-awareness.
They require letting go of the residual benefits of your current situation.
They require courage.
Step One
Confront who you are.
This also involves a three step process:
Write down your daily habits.
What do you do each day?
Be honest... noone ele is going to read it.
It is amazing how people cling to pretending even to themselves.
Stop that.
If you hate getting up... write it down.
If you eat food that is bad for you... record it.
If you avoid brushing your teeth properly... note it.
You cannot move forward if you do not know who you are.
You have to acknowledge your true self.
2. Journal how you treat other people and who your friends are.
Do you snap at your kids?
Are you rude to your mum?
Angry at your neighbours?
Your friends could be making you miserable.
Do you mix with mean people?
Are they funny and cruel?
Lazy?
Do they drink every day?
Again just record the truth.
Be brutally honest.
3. List what you think about most often.
Hmmm...
Are your thoughts escapist?
Chocolate?
Dream holidays?
Fantastic new fantasy lover?
Or are they defeatist?
Everything is a waste of time?
Nothing to look forward to?
Life is a struggle?
Step Two
Write a description of the person you have revealed at step one.
Do you like that person?
Are they fun?
Engaging?
Kind?
Do you want to be that person?
Step three
Write down the type of person you would like to be.
Again in 3 steps
Your daily habits
Who your friends are.
What you think about.
et voila...
change from 2 to 3...
It really is that simple.
Knowledge gives you the power to change.
Desire gives you the momentum to take action.
And before you know it... you will be over your ex.
Here's a great test to know if you are free of longing or resentment:
You wish your ex well.
I knew I was over my exes because I wished they would meet and marry Pippa Middleton, a top model or a gorgeous actress.
Anyone fantastic so they would move on and leave me alone!
Here's the original post:
https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over.html
According to a survey in the Daily Mail about 17 months.
What is getting over it?
Some people are bitter for ever -
rude to their ex,
jealous of their new life,
pleased if they fall on bad times.
The only way you know you are truly over it is to genuinely feel a fondness for your ex and to enjoy good memories not wallow in the bad.
Your reaction to this thought will determine just how over your ex you are!!!!!
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