What is a Consent Order?

This post was originally written and posted on my previous blog in August 2006.

Legal points are still valid.

This post received many views and was used by Google to define a Consent Order.

A Consent Order is the legal document by which financial matters are finalised on divorce.

Without this, you are vulnerable to your partner making a financial claim years later.

This can be soo scary even to think about.

Maybe you put on a brave face...

Even with yourself.

So much denial.

You pretend to your friends you are okay.

Pretend to your family everything is fine.

Maybe even pretend to your partner things are good.

But...

Secretly...

Fed up?

Bored?

Lonely in your relationship?

Dislike your spouse?

Can't stand your partner?

Repulsed by their presence?

Annoyed by their every word?

Bored by their jokes?

Annoyed by their faults?

Hate their habits?

Fed up of their family?

Really tired of looking at them?

Feeling sad?

Lonely?

Depressed?

Need to do something?

Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. There is no universal answer as to when it is the "right" time, as every relationship and situation is unique. However, here are some factors to consider:

Consider the seriousness of the problems

• Abuse: If there is any form of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, or financial), it is crucial to prioritise your safety and well-being. In such cases, seeking help and considering separation or divorce is important.

Divorce can occur for a variety of reasons, including:

1. Communication Issues: Constant misunderstandings and lack of effective communication can lead to frustration and conflict.

2. Infidelity: Betrayal through cheating can destroy trust and intimacy in a relationship.

3. Financial Problems: Disagreements about money management or financial stress can strain a marriage.

4. Loss of Intimacy: A decline in emotional and physical intimacy can create feelings of disconnection.

How to Protect Yourself Financially in Divorce

Divorce is never just emotional...

it is financial.

The moment you separate, your financial security becomes vulnerable.

Whether you were the main earner,

the homemaker,

or somewhere in between,

here’s how to take control of your money and protect your future.

Don’t Just Hire the First Name You Find

Choosing the right solicitor can shape the course of your divorce...

legally, financially, and emotionally.

It's not just about credentials.

It's about trust, strategy, and alignment.

You need someone who understands the legal landscape, but also your priorities.

Here are the questions you must ask before instructing anyone.

Don’t be shy...

you’re hiring them, not the other way around.

Settle or Fight?

When you divorce, you’ve got two choices when it comes to the finances:

1. Reach an agreement.

2. Fight it out.

In England and Wales, around 80% of divorcing couples reach an agreement without going to court. But how they do it varies a lot.

How People Settle

People spend years ruminating over this question:

Should I stay or should I go now?

How profound was that 80s hit?

Not good enough to stay?

Not bad enough to leave?

Feeling discontented?

Dissatisfied?

Maybe even resentful?

What to do?

This can be an unbearable source of anxiety and indecision.

Here's an easy way to work out what you need to do.

Imagine you suddenly received millions in a windfall. 

So much money that it made financial considerations in your circumstances irrelevant to the outcome of your potential separation.

Set your own bar.

For some that will be £5 million,

For others £500 million.  

What would you do with the money?

If your Divorce ends up in Court...

Everything you buy will be under the spotlight.

Plus everything you have bought for the last 12 months.

Are there things you don't want your ex...

or his/her legal team to know about?

Some people find this extremely irritating...