How long does it take to move on after Divorce?
It is an individual thing.
Some have already moved on and slip straight into a full on relationship with their lover.
Some never do.
There is a difference between healing and rushing to replace.
Psychology today states give it a year.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201912/dating-after-divorce
Are you ready to move on?
What does that mean?
So called experts, studies, psychologists and well-meaning friends and relatives will state...
Give it time...
How much time?
How long is a piece of string?
The imponderable, unanswerable question.
Before you move on...
And this encapsulates a whole spectrum of situations...
From remarriage to one night stands...
Ask yourself these three questions:
Why do you want to date again?
There are good reasons and bad reasons.
Here are some good reasons
You are excited to meet someone new.
You feel you have grown and are better able to be in a loving, committed relationship.
You want to share your life with someone, through good times and bad.
You are curious about the next stage of your life.
Here are some bad reasons:
You want to maKe your ex jealous.
You can't bear being on your own.
You need someone else to make you feel good about yourself.
You feel less-than on your own.
Are you over the pain?
Healing takes time.
This varies depending on individual circumstances...
The length of the relationship...
The details of the breakup.
It is much easier to heal if you simply grow apart, want different things in life and mutually agree that the relationship has run its course.
In this circumstance, you probably grieved the loss of the relationship whilst you were still in it.
You maybe turned off your emotions and healed internally so potentially are ready for something or someone new almost immediately.
If you were betrayed, and are devastated at the loss of your past, present and future...
This will take much longer to heal from.
Probably a maximum of two years.
Any longer than two years...
Suggests you have got stuck.
In bitterness and fear.
After two years, if you still don't feel any better, professional help should be sought.
Are you just lonely?
This is the most difficult question to answer, because oftentimes we don't want to admit this...
Even to ourselves.
So we run away from it.
And the best way to avoid wrestling with whether you are lonely or not...
Is to jump straight into something new.
The way to assess whether you simply feel lonely...
Is to spend time on your own.
How does this make you feel?
Excited that you can do your own thing?
Or desperate for a companion?
Only when you are content spending time with you...
Are you able to be in a committed, fulfilling relationship with someone else.
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