Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate.

I originally wrote this post on 1 August 2006.

I have nothing to add.

The advice still holds true.

Made me smile...

I hope it makes you feel good too.

https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2006/08/divorce-separation.html

TYPICAL QUESTIONS ON DIVORCE.

SHOULD I DATE WHEN TRYING TO GET A DIVORCE?

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate

If they didn't they wouldn't keep doing it...

Right?

Some move on to the next victim...

But... some perfect the art of tilting the balance in their favour.

What does this mean?

Why do liars get away with it?

Your need to be with them exceeds your need for an autonomous, happy, meaningful life.

What does that mean?

The pain of leaving exceeds the pain of staying...

Hence...

Liars do get away with it in many instances.

Do people believe politicians?

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate.

I originally wrote this post on 4 October 2007.

Have things changed since then?

A review of the case law would suggest not.

Getting married is a risky business.

Both to your wallet...

and your heart.

How to protect yourself?

How can you protect yourself from potential gold diggers?

I will do a post on how to spot gold diggers...

But the honest answer is...

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate

I originally wrote this post on 23 June 2009.

Some of the comments were funny... citing that the behaviour listed was criminal.

Yes... that is so.

However, some people don't care.

They lack emotional control.

They are consumed with the desire for venegance.

The need for control.

They become obsessive.

I have experienced this both professionally and personally.

Exes for years and years still trying to cause harm.

Why?

Why do some exes behave so badly?

They are jealous.

They don't want to move on.

They want you to suffer.

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate

I wrote this original post on 10 April 2010.

I met lots of people who were stuck.

Stuck in sadness.

Stuck in anger.

Stuck in envy.

Stuck in hate.

Many did not want to be happy and content.

They wore their victimhood like a cloak to protect them.

How to move on?

There are three stages.

They require self-awareness.

They require letting go of the residual benefits of your current situation.

They require courage.

Here's a post I wrote on 27 July 2007...

it drew a lot of negative comments...

from men!

This was not a condemnation of the whole male population... but estimates now say that 35% of men on dating sites such as Bumble are already in a relationship.

That's a lot.

Over a third of men on dating sites are lying to you about their relationship status... apart from the few who openly admit it of course.

Since writing this post in 2007 I have uncovered a few more clues:…

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate.

The emotional divorce is real.

Sometimes it hurts more than the money.

Because money is numbers.
But this is identity.

One day you’re functioning.
Next day you’re not sure who you are without them.

If you wanted the divorce, you can still grieve.
You lose the future you imagined.
The routines.
The “we”.
The sense of belonging that comes with being a couple.

If you didn’t want it, it can feel like you’ve been pushed off a cliff.
And the worst part is often this...

Your ex looks fine.

Not because it didn’t matter.
But because they left emotionally months or years ago.
They processed the ending while you were still trying to fix it.

So you’re living two different timelines.

That gap is brutal.

Rejection is part of the pain

Rejection doesn’t just sting.
It can make you question your value, your attractiveness, your judgement, your whole past.

If you’re not used to being rejected, it hits harder.
Because you think it means something final.

It usually doesn’t.

It means one relationship ended.
Not your life.

Here is a post I wrote on my Christian blog site, but it works well here too, I have removed the Biblical verses...

However...

If you don't yet allow God in your life... maybe being broken-hearted is a good time to consider letting him in.

Experiencing heartbreak is an almost universal human experience. It can be deeply painful and affect every aspect of your life. But despite how shattering it feels, the heart is resilient, and healing is possible. If you’re struggling with the end of a relationship and the emotional pain that accompanies it, the following tips can help guide you on a path toward healing and finding wholeness once again.

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings

One of the first steps toward healing from a broken heart is to accept your emotions. It can be tempting to push away feelings of sadness, anger, and rejection, but these are natural responses to loss. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment, and recognize that it’s okay to be not okay for a while.

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate

I originally wrote this post on 9 November 2006

https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2006/11/secret-wish.html

I know a young boy who attended his father's wedding recently. In the joviality of events he was asked to make three wishes by a passing drunken adult.

OK he said:

Number 1 - I want to be a famous footballer

Number 2 - I want my mum to stop being mean to me.

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate

I originally wrote this post on 2 December 2006

https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2006/12/get-police-on-your-side.html

In matters of domestic violence there appears a wide disparity in the advice people receive from the police.

I always advise my clients to call the police at the first sign of trouble. It is a priority of this Government to focus on domestic violence and racially motivated crimes so the police are supposed to prioritise such incidents. Not so when it comes to anecdotal incidents I've been told about.

" If you want to sort this out get your solicitor to take him to Court. That's what you pay her for."

"Next time you are involved in a domestic incident don't call the police."

" I know he's been convicted and told not to contact you but he may have called your number by mistake. If it happens again we will arrest him."

" I know she's admitted that she threatened to kill you, but she did not have a knife in her hand at the time and women can get away with saying such things so we will not be arresting her."

• 1. Communication Problems:

  • Lack of open and honest communication: Couples who struggle to communicate their needs, feelings, and concerns effectively often experience growing resentment and misunderstandings.

  • Poor conflict resolution skills: Inability to manage disagreements constructively can lead to escalating arguments and emotional distance.

  • Communication styles: Differences in communication styles (e.g., one partner being more expressive while the other is more reserved) can create barriers to understanding.

  2. Infidelity:

  • Breach of trust: Extramarital affairs can severely damage trust and intimacy within a marriage, often leading to irreparable harm.

This can be soo scary even to think about.

Maybe you put on a brave face...

Even with yourself.

So much denial.

You pretend to your friends you are okay.

Pretend to your family everything is fine.

Maybe even pretend to your partner things are good.

But...

Secretly...

Fed up?

Bored?

Lonely in your relationship?

Dislike your spouse?

Can't stand your partner?

Repulsed by their presence?

Annoyed by their every word?

Bored by their jokes?

Annoyed by their faults?

Hate their habits?

Fed up of their family?

Really tired of looking at them?

Feeling sad?

You do not need to hire a private investigator...

Or hack into her phone to work out if something has changed.

You just need to stop,

Observe,

And pay attention to what is right in front of you.

When women cheat...

They often do not get sloppy.

They get smarter.

They edit.

They alter.

And if you are paying attention

The shift is usually right there in their...

conversation.

If you are wondering whether your husband is cheating ...

Do not bother checking his phone...

or...

Grilling his friends.

Just stop and think.

What is the one thing that changes when a man’s attention is no longer fully on his wife?

It is not always how much time he spends at work.

Or how often he looks at his phone.

Or even how much more carefully he is dressing.

The number one sign?

We all know the line. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. It's supposed to be optimistic. Accepting. Wise.

But what if it’s nonsense?

Lots of people I speak to in divorce are still quietly grieving the one they really loved.

Not the person they married.

Often not even the person they lived with.

But someone else.

A past relationship they never got over.

A path not taken.

A version of themselves that no longer exists.

They tell themselves they moved on.

They settled down.

Deciding whether someone is ready to get divorced is a deeply personal process and can vary greatly from individual to individual. Here are several factors to consider when reflecting on this significant life choice:

Signs You Might Be Ready for Divorce

1. Loss of Communication:

   • Effective communication is key in any relationship. If attempts to talk and resolve issues have repeatedly failed, it may signal that the relationship is no longer healthy.