When is Divorce a good thing?
Let me count the ways...
to misquote our famous bard Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
Personal Growth
Maybe you have been stuck in a rut for years.
Maybe you have been stagnant in a comfort zone of misery.
Maybe you lost yourself in the misery of an unhealthy existence.
Divorce may force you to re-evaluate.
Take stock of your life.
Change.
Improve.
Maybe even glow up.
Divorce may help you get to know yourself...
Understand who you are...
Accept your faults...
Embrace your assets.
You may dive into a depth of self-awareness you never knew was possible.
Stress Relief
Divorce can result in improved mental health.
Leaving a toxic, unhappy relationship, where each day is scarred by conflict, can relieve stress, anxiety and depression.
The relief felt is one of immense freedom.
Like deflating an over-inflated ballon before it pops.
Divorce can literally save people from mental illness.
Improved Relationships
Now is the time to appreciate your true friends more.
It is the time when you find out who your true friends are.
When you realise what is important to you in relationships.
With friends.
Family.
And possibly a new partner.
Independence
Self reliance.
Never used a drill before?
Never cooked a meal?
Never navigated?
Divorce is a time to learn new skills, things that you left to your partner to deal with.
Now you have to do them for yourself.
This may be scary.
But instead of resenting the additional load of responsibility...
Embrace the independence.
You have got this.
You can manage on your own.
And how great does that feel?
Major confidence boost.
First taste of self reliance.
Maybe even a sense of invincibility.
Some people coming out of a toxic divorce state they now believe they can survive anything.
Nothing could rock their world more.
Improved Communication Skills
One, positive, unexpected side effect.
You have to communicate better.
Your marriage probably fell apart because you did not tell each other your wants, wishes and feelings in a way your partner was receptive to.
Nagging did not work.
Shouting did not work.
Sulking did not work.
In a divorce, these behaviours have to be set aside to obtain a resolution.
You are forced to negotiate.
You are forced to listen to your soon to be ex's point of view.
This then develops a skill of communication, that you can take forward in life to your future relationships, both personal and professional.
Life Goals
What is the point of your life?
What do you want to achieve?
Maybe you put your dreams on hold for the sake of the marriage.
Maybe you buried your dreams because your partner would not allow them air.
Now you have the time and space to focus on what you truly want.
What are your personal goals and aspirations?
You now have the time to realise your dreams.
And to dream big.
And to move onto a more fulfilling life path.
New Experiences
And on that note...
Seek out new activities.
New experiences.
Hobbies.
Go exploring.
Encourage others.
Leave your comfort zone behind.
Better Parenting
Another surprising benefit.
Now you have time to relate to your kids.
It is just you and them.
Time together can reach a new quality of truly engaging with your children, and appreciating their presence in your life.
Wow, do you love your children more, when you are given the opportunity to miss them, when they are with your ex.
You can relate to your children without the bad atmosphere.
Without the bickering in the background.
Your children are free from that awful environment also.
Financial Awareness
Perhaps for the first time you have to manage your finances.
Budget alone.
Balance your bank account.
Understand savings, debt, pensions, utilities... gain an all round financial awareness and literacy you never needed to acquire previously.
Or perhaps you have a major relief on your finances from your ex-partner's profligate spending.
Either way financial freedom and independence awaits.
Time to focus on better long-term planning.
Freedom
Ending a contentious relationship provides peace.
And freedom.
And the ability to create a more harmonious life.
Noone with any sense, or a semblance of sanity, wants to live in constant drama and upset.
Witness the public divorce of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
What a truly dreadful situation they were living.
How much better their lives are apart from each other.
In conclusion...
Divorce is a challenging experience.
Most people do not marry with the intent of divorce.
So there is a sense of failure.
Of loss.
But it can also produce personal growth and development, and opportunities unimagined.
Divorce can be a turning point, leading to a more satisfying life.
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