Why liars get away with it...
Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate
If they didn't they wouldn't keep doing it...
Right?
Some move on to the next victim...
But... some perfect the art of tilting the balance in their favour.
What does this mean?
Why do liars get away with it?
Your need to be with them exceeds your need for an autonomous, happy, meaningful life.
What does that mean?
The pain of leaving exceeds the pain of staying...
Hence...
Liars do get away with it in many instances.
Do people believe politicians?
Some probably do.
Why?
Some maybe deluded...
But some don't believe what the media tells them...
And yet...
An example outside of the romantic arena is Kamala Harris. I heard a Democrat being interviewed, who said that nothing Kamala Harris said was true.
She asserted that Kamala lied about the economy, immigration issues, basically she did not believe a word she said. Why?
Because she was living in the US and her "lived experience" differed far from what Kamala Harris was telling her it was. She could see the reality.
Who was this lady going to vote for?
Kamala Harris.
Why?
She did not explain but my guess is she could not bear to leave her Democrat allegiance.
Even though she now believed they were not acting in her best interest, were betraying her no less, she would still support them.
Why do this?
Because the perceived pain of change is higher than the felt pain of the current situation.
How does this pan out in romantic relationships?
Why do people stay with liars?
People stay with cheaters, abusers, and liars because they think their life will be worse if they leave.
What reasons people give for staying with an unsuitable partner...
and tolerating the intolerable...
with my interpretation in brackets:
I don't want to give up the lifestyle (placing superficial comfort ahead of true wellbeing).
I don't want to be lonely (never learned to love themselves).
I don't want to be labelled single (too concerned about other's opinions).
I don't want to lose my status (egocentric).
I don't want to risk meeting someone who is worse (frightened rabbit).
I don't want anyone else to have them (like a toddler).
I'm waiting for his parents to die so I can have a share of the inheritance (wills are not guaranteed in UK , otherwise cat homes would not be beneficiaries).
I expect he will die before me and I would rather have it all than half (oftentimes this fails, there is no guarantee that men die younger than women nor that people die in age order...).
I'm waiting for our kids to finish education (usually the kids resent being the cause of your unhappiness, so never tell them this).
I'm waiting for the right time (this never happens).
He is the best I can get (this may well be true, based on the wrong measures).
I don't fancy anyone else (usually a trauma bond).
She is gorgeous (sadly lots of gold diggers are physically attractive).
He is who everyone else wants (think celebrity wives who tolerate infidelity).
I could go on...
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