When is divorce a good thing?

There are many reasons.

Personal Growth

How so?

Maybe you've been stuck in a rut for years.

Maybe you've been stuck in a stagnant, comfort zone of misery.

Maybe you lost yourself in the sadness of an unhealthy existence.

Divorce can force you to re-evaluate.

To take stock of your life.

Change.

Improve.

Maybe even and here's the buzz phrase of the day...

Glow up.

It may help you to get to know yourself.

Understand who you are.

Embrace your faults.

Accept them at least and embrace your assets.

And you may even dive into a sense of self-awareness you never knew was possible.

It might not be as bad as you think.

According to this study...

Focusing on someone new relieved the anxiety of missing your ex.

Their longing for their ex was disrupted.

Maybe.

Or maybe this was just a side-effect of time playing out.

We all know the line. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. It's supposed to be optimistic. Accepting. Wise.

But what if it’s nonsense?

Lots of people I speak to in divorce are still quietly grieving the one they really loved.

Not the person they married.

Often not even the person they lived with.

But someone else.

A past relationship they never got over.

A path not taken.

A version of themselves that no longer exists.

They tell themselves they moved on.

They settled down.

Why Rebounds Can Seem Like a Lifeline

It might not be as bad as you think.

There’s an American study from Brumbaugh & Fraley (2015, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships) that found rebound relationships can actually help people recover from a breakup faster.

A new connection can boost self-esteem, reduce longing for the ex, and distract from pain.

That’s the theory.