While cheating is never justified, understanding the underlying reasons why it happens can be helpful in addressing relationship issues. Here are 5 common reasons men cheat:

1. Lack of Emotional Intimacy:

• Feeling disconnected: Men may seek emotional connection and validation outside the relationship if they feel their emotional needs are not being met at home. This can involve feeling unheard, unappreciated, or lacking a sense of closeness with their partner.

• Difficulty expressing emotions: Some men may struggle to express their emotions openly, leading to a sense of isolation and a search for someone who understands them on a deeper level.

When is divorce a good thing?

There are many reasons.

Personal Growth

How so?

Maybe you've been stuck in a rut for years.

Maybe you've been stuck in a stagnant, comfort zone of misery.

Maybe you lost yourself in the sadness of an unhealthy existence.

Divorce can force you to re-evaluate.

To take stock of your life.

Change.

Improve.

Maybe even and here's the buzz phrase of the day...

Glow up.

It may help you to get to know yourself.

Understand who you are.

Embrace your faults.

Accept them at least and embrace your assets.

And you may even dive into a sense of self-awareness you never knew was possible.

It might not be as bad as you think.

According to this study...

Focusing on someone new relieved the anxiety of missing your ex.

Their longing for their ex was disrupted.

Maybe.

Or maybe this was just a side-effect of time playing out.

We all know the line. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. It's supposed to be optimistic. Accepting. Wise.

But what if it’s nonsense?

Lots of people I speak to in divorce are still quietly grieving the one they really loved.

Not the person they married.

Often not even the person they lived with.

But someone else.

A past relationship they never got over.

A path not taken.

A version of themselves that no longer exists.

They tell themselves they moved on.

They settled down.

What is a Consent Order?

This post was originally written and posted on my previous blog in August 2006.

Legal points are still valid.

This post received many views and was used by Google to define a Consent Order.

A Consent Order is the legal document by which financial matters are finalised on divorce.

Without this, you are vulnerable to your partner making a financial claim years later.

Why Women Cheat...

It’s Not What You Think

Most men assume women cheat because they’re “crazy” or irrational. That’s often the word they use.

She’s emotional.

She’s moody.

She changes her mind.

She flips from warm to cold overnight.

But calling her crazy isn’t an explanation.

It’s a reaction.

What’s really going on is deeper,

and if you don’t understand it,

you risk losing your relationship without even seeing it coming.

Women Cheat Because of Feelings, Not Logic

Men tend to use logic to assess situations.

They think in systems,

patterns,

processes.

So when their partner’s behaviour doesn’t follow that logic...

when she starts arguments,

withdraws affection,

or becomes distant...

This can be soo scary even to think about.

Maybe you put on a brave face...

Even with yourself.

So much denial.

You pretend to your friends you are okay.

Pretend to your family everything is fine.

Maybe even pretend to your partner things are good.

But...

Secretly...

Fed up?

Bored?

Lonely in your relationship?

Dislike your spouse?

Can't stand your partner?

Repulsed by their presence?

Annoyed by their every word?

Bored by their jokes?

Annoyed by their faults?

Hate their habits?

Fed up of their family?

Really tired of looking at them?

Feeling sad?

Lonely?

Depressed?

Need to do something?

Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. There is no universal answer as to when it is the "right" time, as every relationship and situation is unique. However, here are some factors to consider:

Consider the seriousness of the problems

• Abuse: If there is any form of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, or financial), it is crucial to prioritise your safety and well-being. In such cases, seeking help and considering separation or divorce is important.

Deciding whether someone is ready to get divorced is a deeply personal process and can vary greatly from individual to individual. Here are several factors to consider when reflecting on this significant life choice:

Signs You Might Be Ready for Divorce

1. Loss of Communication:

   • Effective communication is key in any relationship. If attempts to talk and resolve issues have repeatedly failed, it may signal that the relationship is no longer healthy.

The Surprising Truth Behind This All-Too-Common Betrayal

When we think of cheating, we often imagine a secretive affair with someone new...

a stranger who tempts someone out of their committed relationship.

But in many cases, the truth is far more familiar and, in some ways, more painful...

men often cheat with their ex...

Why?

The reasons may not be romantic, but they are rooted in accessibility, emotional familiarity, and convenience.

Let’s break it down.

Divorce can occur for a variety of reasons, including:

1. Communication Issues: Constant misunderstandings and lack of effective communication can lead to frustration and conflict.

2. Infidelity: Betrayal through cheating can destroy trust and intimacy in a relationship.

3. Financial Problems: Disagreements about money management or financial stress can strain a marriage.

4. Loss of Intimacy: A decline in emotional and physical intimacy can create feelings of disconnection.

So Why Do Men Cheat?

The number one reason men cheat is opportunity.

If he’s on a desert island, he won’t cheat.

If he’s surrounded by attractive, interested women every day...

at work,

at the gym,

on social media...

the temptation is constant.

What men often lack isn’t love or sex at home.

It’s boundaries.

They drift.

One DM,

one “innocent” drink,

one moment of boredom...

and they’re in.

How to Protect Yourself Financially in Divorce

Divorce is never just emotional...

it is financial.

The moment you separate, your financial security becomes vulnerable.

Whether you were the main earner,

the homemaker,

or somewhere in between,

here’s how to take control of your money and protect your future.

Don’t Just Hire the First Name You Find

Choosing the right solicitor can shape the course of your divorce...

legally, financially, and emotionally.

It's not just about credentials.

It's about trust, strategy, and alignment.

You need someone who understands the legal landscape, but also your priorities.

Here are the questions you must ask before instructing anyone.

Don’t be shy...

you’re hiring them, not the other way around.

Why Rebounds Can Seem Like a Lifeline

It might not be as bad as you think.

There’s an American study from Brumbaugh & Fraley (2015, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships) that found rebound relationships can actually help people recover from a breakup faster.

A new connection can boost self-esteem, reduce longing for the ex, and distract from pain.

That’s the theory.

How Much Will Your Divorce Really Cost?

When clients come to me after separation, they’re usually focused on one thing: the legal bill. They worry about solicitor’s fees, court costs, and what it’s going to take to get the divorce through. But the real cost of divorce isn’t on the invoice. It’s in the years of your life you won’t get back.

People often overlook are the other, less visible costs: the emotional toll, the time drain, and the sheer energy it takes.

Settle or Fight?

When you divorce, you’ve got two choices when it comes to the finances:

1. Reach an agreement.

2. Fight it out.

In England and Wales, around 80% of divorcing couples reach an agreement without going to court. But how they do it varies a lot.

How People Settle

Why Do People Get Divorced?

People often ask why marriages end.

The honest answer?

One of them goes off the other.

It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s slow.

But it usually comes down to this: the feeling fades.

We don’t like to admit that.

We prefer complex explanations“We grew apart,” “Life got in the way,” “We had different goals.”

But really, it’s often just that you stop liking them. At least not the way you used to.

People spend years ruminating over this question:

Should I stay or should I go now?

How profound was that 80s hit?

Not good enough to stay?

Not bad enough to leave?

Feeling discontented?

Dissatisfied?

Maybe even resentful?

What to do?

This can be an unbearable source of anxiety and indecision.

Here's an easy way to work out what you need to do.

Imagine you suddenly received millions in a windfall. 

So much money that it made financial considerations in your circumstances irrelevant to the outcome of your potential separation.

Set your own bar.

For some that will be £5 million,

For others £500 million.  

What would you do with the money?