Let’s consider… Are you on the Rebound?
Are you?
Have you rushed into things?
Have you not even taken a breath from ending one relationship and commencing another?
Are you overlooking all the red flags?
What does being on the rebound mean?
Running away from the pain of your loss.
Seeking to replace your ex as quickly as possible....
Usually with a similar model...
In the mistaken belief that they will fill the void.
Rushing into a commitment without knowing the person...
Imaging they will be similar to your ex because...
Or praying they will be better than your ex.
Just making sure you are not on your own.
Have you introduced him to everyone in your life already, including your childre?
Clues that you are on the rebound
You are desperate to meet someone.
This means:
You will be in a hurry.
You will lower your standards.
You will overlook the "red flags".
You will sign on to various dating sites...
You will date anyone who pops up.
You will look for a safe option.
Maybe even date down in thw mistaken belief they will be so grateful to have you they will treat ypu right.
Another clue:
You can't bear being on your own.
If you have a weekend alone...
You feel restless.
Anxious.
Miserable.
Lonely.
Isolated.
And finally:
You spend far too much time trying to replace your ex.
How much is far too much?
You know...
More than 3 dates per week...
More then 30 minutes per day on dating sites...
Trawling the bars every weekend...
Chatting up everyone at work...
At the supermarket..
Train station...
Petrol station...
And if you are immoral...
Chasing after your friend's partners.
How to stop being on the rebound.
Just stop.
How?
Accept that you miss your partner.
Accept that you are grieving the pain of loss.
Accept that you need to heal...
Whatever that entails.
Cry...
Therapy...
It is not possible to leapfrog over this one.
If you don't take the time to heal ...
You won't heal.
Your pain will just fester...
We've all seen those people...
Ruining their present and future because they are still idolising their ex...
And there is a big difference between the one that got away...
Someone who was truly great...
And lamenting the loss of an adulterous, angry, alcoholic.
But that is the subject of another post.
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