DO YOU WANT TO GET DIVORCED?
People spend years ruminating over this question:
Should I stay or should I go now?
How profound was that 80s hit?
Not good enough to stay?
Not bad enough to leave?
Feeling discontented?
Dissatisfied?
Maybe even resentful?
What to do?
This can be an unbearable source of anxiety and indecision.
Here's an easy way to work out what you need to do.
Imagine you suddenly received millions in a windfall.
So much money that it made financial considerations in your circumstances irrelevant to the outcome of your potential separation.
Set your own bar.
For some that will be £5 million,
For others £500 million.
What would you do with the money?
Use it to rebuild a life with your spouse.
Use it to separate from your spouse, and you would share the proceeds equally.
Hide it.
If you answered 1 -
You are not ready to divorce from your spouse and you should use whatever resources you have to effect reconciliation and to persuade your spouse that this is in your joint best interest.
If you answered 2 -
You are ready to separate but you are prepared to be reasonable and fair and your divorce and separation should be amicable. The majority of separating couples (80%) are in this category.
If you answered 3 -
For either yourself or your spouse, your divorce will be toxic and will end up in court.
Now you know.
The next decision is:
What are you going to do about it?
Many people stay together and their only pleasure in life is making their partner's life worse.
Yes... there are lots of people like that...
We all know them...
Some people stay together and one tolerates years and years of abuse and misery.
Why?
Hoping things will get better?
Too scared to leave?
Maybe they love their partner...even though they treat them badly.
Some people need a trigger event.
Some dramatic other thing to happen.
Perhaps... the death of a parent or close friend?
Makes them appreciate their own mortality.
Maybe the loss of a job?
The thinking goes... may as well lose everything at once.
This can be freeing.
A completely new start.
Or they beat an addiction.
Lose weight.
get fit.
Find a new hobby.
They upgrade themselves and decide they deserve happiness at home too.
Or... they retire and realise they don't have much time left so want to enjoy their final years.
Whatever the catalyst, whether it be internal or external, something happens which clicks the decision to take action.
Then what?