Get the Police on your side
Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate
I originally wrote this post on 2 December 2006
https://divorcesolicitor.blogspot.com/2006/12/get-police-on-your-side.html
In matters of domestic violence there appears a wide disparity in the advice people receive from the police.
I always advise my clients to call the police at the first sign of trouble. It is a priority of this Government to focus on domestic violence and racially motivated crimes so the police are supposed to prioritise such incidents. Not so when it comes to anecdotal incidents I've been told about.
" If you want to sort this out get your solicitor to take him to Court. That's what you pay her for."
"Next time you are involved in a domestic incident don't call the police."
" I know he's been convicted and told not to contact you but he may have called your number by mistake. If it happens again we will arrest him."
" I know she's admitted that she threatened to kill you, but she did not have a knife in her hand at the time and women can get away with saying such things so we will not be arresting her."
The police have a statutory duty to investigate incidents such as a threat to kill. If you are in fear call them . If violence is taking place call 999. Do not be fobbed off.
There are civil procedures available but they are expensive and those qualifying for publicfunding will usually not receive assistance if they have not involved the police!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nearly twenty years on, very little of this surprises me. What does concern me is that people are still being given inconsistent, and sometimes plainly wrong, advice at the point they are most vulnerable.
Domestic abuse is not a private family matter. I
t is a criminal issue.
Threats to kill are specific criminal offences.
Breaches of bail conditions, restraining orders, non-molestation orders, and police warnings are not optional or discretionary. They require action.
Yet time and again, victims are told to manage it themselves, to “go to court”, or worse, not to call again.
This creates a dangerous message.
It tells victims that they are a nuisance.
That their fear is not quite enough.
That unless blood is drawn or a weapon is visible, nothing will happen.
That is not the law, and it has never been the law.
I have represented clients who were turned away repeatedly, only for the situation to escalate.
I have also represented clients whose cases were taken seriously from the outset, resulting in arrests, charges, and a paper trail that ultimately protected them and their children.
The difference was not the severity of the behaviour.
It was the response.
From a family law perspective, police involvement matters.
Courts rely heavily on independent evidence.
A police log, an incident number, body-worn footage, a contemporaneous statement.
These carry weight.
Without them, victims are often forced to rely on their word alone, which is then challenged as exaggerated, emotional, or tactical.
Legal aid rules reflect this reality. Evidence of domestic abuse is required. Police involvement is one of the primary gateways. Telling someone not to call the police is not neutral advice. It can actively deprive them of protection, funding, and credibility later on.
Civil remedies such as non-molestation orders and occupation orders exist for a reason.
They can be powerful and effective. But they are not a substitute for police intervention where a crime has been committed or a real risk exists.
Nor should they be treated as the first or only route.
Victims should not be made to choose between safety and being taken seriously.
If you are threatened, report it.
If you are frightened, report it.
If an order is breached, report it.
Keep a record of who you spoke to, when, and what was said.
Ask for an incident number.
Ask for the matter to be logged.
If you are dismissed, escalate it.
This is not about overreacting.
It is about recognising patterns early and preventing escalation.
One of the most damaging myths in domestic abuse cases is that things must get worse before they justify action. That myth has cost lives.
The police are not there to decide whether you should “sort it out privately”. They are there to investigate crime and protect people. If that does not happen, the failure should be challenged, not quietly accepted.
I wrote this post in 2006 out of frustration. I am rewriting it now out of concern. The advice remains the same.
If you are in danger, call the police. I
f you are being dismissed, do not accept it.
And do not let anyone tell you that your safety is someone else’s problem.
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