Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate

If they didn't they wouldn't keep doing it...

Right?

Some move on to the next victim...

But... some perfect the art of tilting the balance in their favour.

What does this mean?

Why do liars get away with it?

Your need to be with them exceeds your need for an autonomous, happy, meaningful life.

What does that mean?

The pain of leaving exceeds the pain of staying...

Hence...

Liars do get away with it in many instances.

Do people believe politicians?

Post written by retired family law solicitor advocate.

I originally wrote this post on 4 October 2007.

Have things changed since then?

A review of the case law would suggest not.

Getting married is a risky business.

Both to your wallet...

and your heart.

How to protect yourself?

How can you protect yourself from potential gold diggers?

I will do a post on how to spot gold diggers...

But the honest answer is...

I originally wrote this post on 22 October 2006.

The advice remains the same...

Best not to.

A large number of people who leave their spouse for another...

End up breaking up with the new partner before the divorce is finalised.

Then guess what men do?

Ask their wife to take them back.

Usually the wife responds with a resounding no and the divorce is considerably more acrimonious.

The pros of dating during divorce.

It's exciting.

It's fun.

It's an escape from the misery of the broken relationship.

It staves off lonliness.

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate

I originally wrote this post on 9 October 2006.

The advice remains the same.

The answer is no.

Divorce is a form of litigation and hence your interests differ from your ex's.

Most people who separate do not end up in divorce court.

They can reach a sensible agreement and simply wish for it to be made legal.

They cannot mediate because they are already in agreement.

They just want a solicitor to draft it.

Sometimes only one will instruct a solicitor.

This is not ideal because that solicitor has a duty to advise their client on the best outcome for them.

The other party, with no legal knowledge, may sign something not realising it is not in their best interest.

For example, monthly payments are always spousal maintenance (or child maintenance but there are specific legal restrictions in this regard), even if you think you are paying for the dog.

This leaves the door open for a future increase.

Or another bite at the capital cherry in the form of capitalised maintenance.

It is important to always seek legal advice.

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate.

The emotional divorce is real.

Sometimes it hurts more than the money.

Because money is numbers.
But this is identity.

One day you’re functioning.
Next day you’re not sure who you are without them.

If you wanted the divorce, you can still grieve.
You lose the future you imagined.
The routines.
The “we”.
The sense of belonging that comes with being a couple.

If you didn’t want it, it can feel like you’ve been pushed off a cliff.
And the worst part is often this...

Your ex looks fine.

Not because it didn’t matter.
But because they left emotionally months or years ago.
They processed the ending while you were still trying to fix it.

So you’re living two different timelines.

That gap is brutal.

Rejection is part of the pain

Rejection doesn’t just sting.
It can make you question your value, your attractiveness, your judgement, your whole past.

If you’re not used to being rejected, it hits harder.
Because you think it means something final.

It usually doesn’t.

It means one relationship ended.
Not your life.

• 1. Communication Problems:

  • Lack of open and honest communication: Couples who struggle to communicate their needs, feelings, and concerns effectively often experience growing resentment and misunderstandings.

  • Poor conflict resolution skills: Inability to manage disagreements constructively can lead to escalating arguments and emotional distance.

  • Communication styles: Differences in communication styles (e.g., one partner being more expressive while the other is more reserved) can create barriers to understanding.

  2. Infidelity:

  • Breach of trust: Extramarital affairs can severely damage trust and intimacy within a marriage, often leading to irreparable harm.

Why Women Cheat...

It’s Not What You Think

Most men assume women cheat because they’re “crazy” or irrational. That’s often the word they use.

She’s emotional.

She’s moody.

She changes her mind.

She flips from warm to cold overnight.

But calling her crazy isn’t an explanation.

It’s a reaction.

What’s really going on is deeper,

and if you don’t understand it,

you risk losing your relationship without even seeing it coming.

Women Cheat Because of Feelings, Not Logic

Men tend to use logic to assess situations.

They think in systems,

patterns,

processes.

So when their partner’s behaviour doesn’t follow that logic...

when she starts arguments,

withdraws affection,

or becomes distant...

Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. There is no universal answer as to when it is the "right" time, as every relationship and situation is unique. However, here are some factors to consider:

Consider the seriousness of the problems

• Abuse: If there is any form of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, or financial), it is crucial to prioritise your safety and well-being. In such cases, seeking help and considering separation or divorce is important.