Going solo?
Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate
More people are choosing to go it alone in the family court.
Some do it because they cannot afford a solicitor. Some because they have lost trust in the system. Others because they want control, clarity, and a say in how their case is run. Whatever the reason, representing yourself is no longer unusual. It is common. And it is not a sign of weakness.
Going solo is a strategic choice. But it only works if you understand what you are taking on.
Why people go solo
The cost of legal representation is the obvious driver. Full representation in divorce or financial remedy proceedings can easily run into tens of thousands of pounds. For many, that is simply not realistic.
But cost is not the whole story.
Many clients come to me after they have already spent significant sums and feel unheard, over-lawyered, or pushed into positions that do not reflect their reality. Others feel their case is being run for the convenience of the firm, not for them.
Going solo can bring focus back to what matters. Your facts. Your outcome. Your priorities.
The reality of self-representation
The court does not lower the bar because you are a litigant in person.
The law is the law. The rules apply equally. Deadlines matter. Evidence matters. Presentation matters.
What the court will do, in theory, is make allowances for lack of legal training. In practice, those allowances are limited. Judges cannot give legal advice. They cannot run your case for you. And they will not rescue you from poor preparation.
This is where many people struggle. Not because they are incapable, but because they underestimate the process.
What you must get right
If you are going solo, three things matter more than anything else.
1. Structure
Judges expect documents to be clear, relevant, and properly organised. Rambling narratives, emotional arguments, and unfocused complaints do real damage to credibility.
You need to know what document you are filing, why you are filing it, and what decision you are asking the court to make.
2. Evidence
Assertions are not evidence. Feelings are not evidence. Suspicion is not evidence.
If you say something happened, you must be able to show it, or at least point to material that supports it. That might be bank statements, emails, text messages, school records, medical letters, or police logs.
Courts decide cases on evidence, not belief.
3. Strategy
Every case has pressure points. Timing matters. Some arguments are best raised early. Others should be held back. Some points are legally strong but tactically unhelpful.
This is where most litigants in person fall down. They argue everything, all at once, with no sense of priority.
A good strategy is often about what you do not run, as much as what you do.
Going solo does not mean going unsupported
There is a false choice often presented between full representation and doing everything yourself.
That is not reality.
Many people now use targeted legal support. Document drafting. Case strategy sessions. Help preparing for hearings. A second pair of eyes on disclosure. A sounding board before making a decision that cannot be undone.
This keeps costs down while avoiding the most common mistakes.
It is often the difference between coping and collapsing.
When going solo is not wise
There are cases where full representation is still strongly advisable. Serious allegations of abuse. Complex international issues. High-value assets. Cases involving vulnerable parties or children with particular needs.
Going solo is about empowerment, not martyrdom.
Knowing when to ask for help is part of being effective.
Final thought
Going solo is not about fighting the system. It is about understanding it well enough to navigate it on your own terms.
Done properly, it can be calm, focused, and effective.
Done badly, it can be exhausting and expensive in ways that have nothing to do with money.
If you are going to go solo, do it with your eyes open.
Need legal advice about separation, infidelity, or divorce?
for straightforward, strategic advice from a former solicitor advocate.