Divorce is not inherently “right” or “wrong”. It is a legal and personal decision, shaped by individual circumstances, relationships, finances and family life. Yet many people struggle with guilt or doubt because divorce is still framed as a moral issue rather than a practical one.

In reality, divorce sits in a grey area. It can carry serious consequences, but it can also be the least damaging option when a marriage is no longer workable.

The emotional reality of divorce

Divorce is often emotionally difficult. Even when separation is mutual, it involves loss, change and uncertainty.

For children, divorce can be particularly challenging. Many experience anxiety, sadness or behavioural changes, especially where parents are in conflict. Children tend to struggle most not with the separation itself, but with ongoing arguments, instability or being caught between parents.

We all know the line. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. It's supposed to be optimistic. Accepting. Wise.

But what if it’s nonsense?

Lots of people I speak to in divorce are still quietly grieving the one they really loved.

Not the person they married.

Often not even the person they lived with.

But someone else.

A past relationship they never got over.

A path not taken.

A version of themselves that no longer exists.

They tell themselves they moved on.

They settled down.