Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate

I originally wrote this post on 9 October 2006.

The advice remains the same.

The answer is no.

Divorce is a form of litigation and hence your interests differ from your ex's.

Most people who separate do not end up in divorce court.

They can reach a sensible agreement and simply wish for it to be made legal.

They cannot mediate because they are already in agreement.

They just want a solicitor to draft it.

Sometimes only one will instruct a solicitor.

This is not ideal because that solicitor has a duty to advise their client on the best outcome for them.

The other party, with no legal knowledge, may sign something not realising it is not in their best interest.

For example, monthly payments are always spousal maintenance (or child maintenance but there are specific legal restrictions in this regard), even if you think you are paying for the dog.

This leaves the door open for a future increase.

Or another bite at the capital cherry in the form of capitalised maintenance.

It is important to always seek legal advice.

It is an individual thing.

Some have already moved on and slip straight into a full on relationship with their lover.

Some never do.

There is a difference between healing and rushing to replace.

Psychology today states give it a year.

It is an individual thing.

Some have already moved on and slip straight into a full on relationship with their lover.

Some never do.

There is a difference between healing and rushing to replace.

Psychology today states give it a year.

Don’t Just Hire the First Name You Find

Choosing the right solicitor can shape the course of your divorce...

legally, financially, and emotionally.

It's not just about credentials.

It's about trust, strategy, and alignment.

You need someone who understands the legal landscape, but also your priorities.

Here are the questions you must ask before instructing anyone.

Don’t be shy...

you’re hiring them, not the other way around.

7 Warning Signs to Watch For

When it comes to cheating in relationships, many people assume it’s about falling for someone new.

But often, the threat comes from the past...

particularly an ex.

Reconnecting with an ex can be a slippery slope, and many emotional affairs or full-blown infidelities start exactly there.

If you’ve been feeling like something’s “off” in your relationship...

even if you can’t quite put your finger on it...

you’re not alone.

Trusting your gut is important, especially when your intuition is picking up on subtle shifts in behavior.

Below are seven red flags that may indicate your partner is slipping back into contact with their ex.

While not every sign confirms infidelity, consistent patterns deserve your attention.

One of the things that it's important to come to terms with when you're going through a separation is that nobody else really cares.

People can show interest in what's going on.

Even gossip or be nosy.

It's like when you you first get married.

People are intrusive and ask when you are going to start a family.

When you divorce people ask for the details.

One of the things that it's important to come to terms with when you're going through a separation is that nobody else really cares.

People can show interest in what's going on.

Even gossip or be nosy.

It's like when you you first get married.

People are intrusive and ask when you are going to start a family.

When you divorce people ask for the details.

Why do so many people get divorced?

In my experience, both professionally and personally, it is because somebody wasn’t authentic.

So… the person that you married is not the person that you end up being married to now.

They put on an act.

They pretended to be someone they were not.

In the extreme this could be gold diggers or narcissists, or…

People who are so attracted to you that they pretend to be what they think you want…