When flowers are not enough...

Post written by a retired family law solicitor advocate.

There is a familiar pattern in many unhealthy relationships.

An incident.

An apology.

A gesture.

Then a return to normal, until the next incident.

Flowers often arrive at the apology stage.

They are presented as evidence of remorse,

change,

insight.

A physical symbol meant to close the chapter and move things on.

For some people, they work.

Or rather, they work just enough to keep things going.

But flowers are not enough.

Many clients describe the same cycle.

Hurtful behaviour followed by gifts.

Angry words followed by affection.

Control followed by charm.

Each time, the gift is framed as proof that it will not happen again.

What matters is not the apology.